Blog Readers, If you ever need a laugh, come back and read the following story written by one of my new friends, Marie. She goes by the forum name "madamimadam" and we met at the Adam concert. The story is about her experience in the airport on her trip to L.A. She talks about "Planet Fierce" in the story...that is the name of a website where people post Adam stuff (that will help you get a better chuckle out of the story). Anyway, it was worth posting for you all:OK, I'm here. Got in around 10:30 p.m., dropped my stuff and went to the Casino. Now back in my room.
Soooooooooooo, about my journey to Fantasy Springs... Pull up a chair, take a load off, this is going to be long!
While waiting for my plane in Montreal, this woman came up to me and asked me if I was going to Indio. It turns out her daughter-in-law told her to look for me and my blue nailpolish. She is very nice and hangs out at Planet Fierce.
Our plane left late but we had plenty of time to make our Chicago connection since we had a two-hour stopover. As soon as we landed, I asked Ms. Planet Fierce to hold on to my carry on while I went outside for a cigarette... It was sooooooooooooooo good! I had not smoked in 3.5 hours!!!!
Coming back from my cigarette, I had to go through the whole security check thingie. I dutifully took off my shoes, coat and placed them in a bin together with my purse. Then went through the little beeping door which of course... beeped! The nice man told me to take off one of my bracelets and while he held it, I went through without setting the darned alarm off.
I went to find Ms. Planet Fierce at the very end of the terminal - I don't walk! I drive my car from one end of a mall to the other!!! But I bravely marched on the probably 10K mile terminal only to find Ms. Planet Fierce with the news that we had been moved to a gate half way back from where I had just come! GRRRRRRRR!
On the up side, this new gate was right next to a McDonalds - I know fine dining at its best! So we both had our filled of chicken nuggets and then I of course needed another cigarette to finish off this high-culinary tour de force that chicken nuggets are! But this time I was much wiser! I gave Ms. Planet Fierce my 'beeping bracelet' to hold and told her this time I didn't need all the paraphenelia and went off with a light heart with my pack of cigarettes and lighter in my pocket.
I then only had to march a 5k mile to the nearest exit and as I was leaving the 'SECURED AREA' through those big revolving doors, it occurred to me that I had no passport, no boarding pass, nada.... just cigarettes and a lighter. This revelation occurred to me while I was still in the revolving doors which by the way only revolve ONE WAY .... OUTWARDS! Right outside sat a security guard and I told him I had left all my stuff inside and that he had just seen me come through the revolving doors and could he please let me back in... easy enough, right? But noooooooooooooooo..... Mr. Security Guard was given rules and was not about to use his braincells to override them! He told me to go to American Airlines counter where they would issue me a new boarding pass, which they nicely did. I was given instructions to go through security and that they would do a $%@^& check on me since I had no ID on me.... OK! Out for a cigarette and then... I'm not stupid! I figured I'd go back to the 10k mile checkpoint where I had joked around with the lady (something about Juliet Child). When I got there.... she was.... GONE!!!!!
I tried to explain my dilemma to the first lady that checks you in..... nope - nothing doing! Flashes of Tom Hanks and The Terminal kept playing through my mind!!!! I asked her to call Gate H6 where Ms. Planet Fierce was sitting with my purse and all necessary paperwork.... Another braindead employee though who told me she didn't know or have the number to Gate H6 and to go back to American Airlines and they would call! Back another 5k mile walk and I stand in front of American Airlines AGAIN! They try to call but nobody is answering!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! Lady from AA is telling me to go back to security check and insist.... Again, not stupid me (OK stupid for leaving my stuff inside but not totally moronic!), I figure I would go to a different check point - don't want braindead employee to flag me!
I find a nice young TSA who I tearfully explain that I have done something really really bad - he interrupts to share with me the fact that whenever he has done anything really really bad, it has landed him in jail!!! OYVE!!!! After I explained that this is not jailworthy, he points me out to the TSA supervisor who is standing a few feet away with another man (not in uniform).
I approach Mr. Supervisor with a beaten puppy look and tell him that I have a BIG PROBLEM to which he remarks "Who doesn't?" I explain to him that my purse with passport and boarding pass are sitting at Gate H6 in the terminal and here I am outside the secured area with no ID whatsoever. Now this guy didn't make supervisor for nothing - he's bright! He asked me who I left my purse with. I explain that this really nice lady that I just met at the Montreal airport but who is an Adam Lambert fan like me. Quizzical look ensues (I wonder why!). OK, Mr. Supervisor is an 'in charge' kind of guy (not to be mistaken with CIC). He inquires as to the color of my purse - my answer.... 'black' - "That's not very helpful", he says. I show him my new boarding pass and for the first time his ununiformed friend comments on the fact that AA has issued a boarding pass to someone with absolutely NO ID! I explain that they did ask me questions only I would have answers to and that seems to quiet him down.
So... back to Mr. Supervisor - he is truly trying to find a solution to my dilemma. So he asks me the name of the lady who is holding my purse - I tell him "I don't know, but please don't laugh, if you ask for a lady from Planet Fierce, she will come forward". Mr. Supervisor: "Planet What". Me: "Planet Fierce". He looks at his buddy and they laugh - GRRRRRRRRRRR!
Next question from Mr. Supervisor: "Does she know YOUR name?" Me: "Uh no, but she does know me as Madamimadam". Now Mr. Supervisor totally cracks up! He asks me where the hidden camera is because he just knows he's being set up! After assuring him that he is not on Candid Camera, he finally introduces his friend to me. "This is Ruben - he's the head of Security at O'Hare Airport" GULP!!!! So Mr. Supervisor goes off on his quest to find a woman from Planet Fierce at Gate H6 and leaves me with instructions to stay with Ruben.
While waiting, I joke with Ruben that I now definitely need another cigarette! He tells me to go outside and have a smoke to which I retort that I am NOT leaving his side! He then offers to come out with me and have a cigarette as well! So here I am on the curb with the head of Security of O'Hare Airport enjoying a friendly cigarette break!
Mr. Supervisor eventually reappears without Ms. Planet Fierce or my purse. He is however carrying a sheet of paper... As soon as he is within earshot, Ruben tells him the form won't do any good because I'm Canadian.... Flashbacks to Tom Hanks yet again!
By now I have 10 minutes to make it to the Gate or I will miss my flight! A few batting of eyelashes and a certain amount of moisture in my eyes convince Ruben to go back with Mr. Supervisor to Gate H6 and search high and low for Ms. Planet Fierce!
5 minutes to boarding and I stand outside the security check point with hope in my eyes and a heart that is beating way too fast for its own good!
Then, bless his socks, Mr. Supervisor reappears carrying MY PURSE!!!! He said Ms. Planet Fierce searched through it and couldn'd find my passport or boarding pass (I'm really good at 'protecting' my important stuff - now if I only remembered to bring it with me all this could have been avoided). I fish out all the necessary documents and Mr. Supervisor whisks me through all the security check point in under a minute! I then kiss Mr. Supervisor on both cheeks and ask him where Ruben went. He points behind me and there he is... I advanced toward Ruben to treat him to the same kissing Mr. Supervisor was bestowed upon by me only to be blocked by this gorilla-size TSA! I get a panicked look in my eyes and Ruben laughingly tells gorilla to let me through. I proceed to kiss Ruben and then I am off like the wind to make my flight at Gate H6. When I get there people are looking at me and laughing. One woman asks me if that whole experience is enough to make me want to quit smoking to which I answer: "Are you kidding me? After this I need a whole damn pack!!!"
It turns out that Mr. Supervisor stood out there and hollered: "Will the lady from Planet Fierce come forward?" Unfortunately Ms. Planet Fierce never understood what he was hollering about!
Anyways now reunited with Ms. Planet Fierce, I ask her what her name is... you know... just in case! She tells me her name is Pat.... and then boarding finally began and as I took my seat in the plane, it dawned on me that should the need arise, I could now name my companion as "Pat.... huh.... from Planet Fierce!" I never asked her her last name!
And now it is close to 6:00 a.m. Eastern time and I have been up almost 24 hours, so I am off to a well-earned sleep!
Ahhhh what we do for Adam!!!!!!
Goodnight everyone!
